Based on the lack of fireworks on Top Chef Masters, I didn't write a recap – but here are some random observations about last night’s episode…
I’ve come to the conclusion that Top Chef Masters is a perfectly good cooking show, but not a great “reality” show. Reality shows have drama and ridiculousness and obnoxious douchebags which makes the episodes recap-worthy. Top Chef Masters? Not so much.
When they introduce each of the Cheftestants for the week, they usually show some footage from their real-life restaurants during service. I loved it when they showed out lesbian Chef Elizabeth Faulker at her restaurant in San Francisco. I present to you, without comment, this quote: “I’ll take that fish anytime you’re ready!”.
I wonder how much weed they had to promise Season 2 Stonertestant Mike Midgley (below) to convince him to turn off the Cartoon Network, get off of the couch in his Mother’s basement, and come in to tape the show. Based on his performance last night, I’d say “quite a bit”.
I’ve come to the conclusion that Top Chef Masters is a perfectly good cooking show, but not a great “reality” show. Reality shows have drama and ridiculousness and obnoxious douchebags which makes the episodes recap-worthy. Top Chef Masters? Not so much.
When they introduce each of the Cheftestants for the week, they usually show some footage from their real-life restaurants during service. I loved it when they showed out lesbian Chef Elizabeth Faulker at her restaurant in San Francisco. I present to you, without comment, this quote: “I’ll take that fish anytime you’re ready!”.
I wonder how much weed they had to promise Season 2 Stonertestant Mike Midgley (below) to convince him to turn off the Cartoon Network, get off of the couch in his Mother’s basement, and come in to tape the show. Based on his performance last night, I’d say “quite a bit”.
The winning Chef, Suzanne Tracht, was pretty impressive – although not bombastic enough for a funny recap. But anyone who will serve fried shallot rings covered in Frito Dust outta get some kind of award. I’m sure Mike Midgley would agree.
Someone at Bravo/Top Chef has a raging hard-on for “Molecular Gastronomy” and/or Wylie Dufresne. I’m sorry, but cooking a piece of chicken in a Recirculating HydroCloroFloroOxide Induction Bath doesn’t impress me. Hasn’t Chef Sideburns ever heard of a skillet? The word "skillet", btw, cracks me the hell up - I have no idea why.
Chef Graham Elliot Bowles was so cute last night, following Wylie around like a big, loyal puppy. The two of them together looked like Ren and Stimpy (below).
Judge James Oseland may just be the gayest man on the planet – and I love him a little more each week. Oseland is the Michael Kors of Top Chef – I’m just waiting for him to pronounce a dish as being “Slutty, slutty, SLUTTY!”.
Can you imagine Season 4 Cheftestants Dale, Spike, Lisa and Andrew bonding and MAKING COOKIES together while they waited for the judges? Yeah, me neither.
I love how the producers and writers of Lost are fans of Top Chef. No wonder Lost doesn’t make any damn sense – the writers are paying too much attention to Recirculating HydroCloroFloroOxide Induction Baths and not enough time explaining all the weird crap that happens on the Island!
Finally, I am hoping that Gael Greene wears a different fabulous hat for each episode. The chapeau she sported last night (below) was called "Witchiepoo Meets Big Bird After Dark".
Feel free to share your own thoughts about last night’s episode in the comments…
