Happy Birthday To Maddie

Happy Birthday to my former Harrisburg homegirl and my dear sister - the Mistress Maddie. I'm not gonna reveal how old Maddie is, but let's just say that she's definitely on the AARP's radar. Is all I'm saying...

Anywhore (emphasis on the last syllable), blogging will be light over the next couple days as Maddie and I hit the town in celebration. Tonight we'll be attending Lady Bunny's show at Escuelita - and then we'll cab it downtown to that bastion of "Modern Dance", The Urge. Gotta support the "local talent", dontcha know.

Tomorrow there will be hangovers to nurse and shopping to do (I took the day off work), so blogging may not return to normal until my liver does. Which could be a while...

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The "Oh Honey, NO" of the Day

THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is why you should never get near the phone (or the computer) when you're wasted:

Wow. Just WOW.

First of all, these are exactly the same kind of messages I leave on Franky G's voicemail every Friday/Saturday night (although my messages are sadder and more desperate) - so I really shouldn't make fun.

Oy - the dude says he is "crazy busy" the next day and that he had to leave (presumably the bar/club) "urgently" due too "indigestion". But wait, SHE GETS INDIGESTION TOO!! This must be true love!

Finally - does she work at Ebay or Jamba Juice? Or both??

Source
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Prince Harry Gets Sloshed With The Gays

Ooooooh HONEY - that's not a good look for you (besides the little peek-a-boo belly thing, which is totally hawt).

His Royal Highness, Prince Henry Charles Albert David of Wales (better known as Prince Harry) decided to hang out with some Queens who weren't his Grandmother on Saturday night. And by the looks of things, they got him DRONK!

From The Mirror (via Towleroad):

"Harry had been at Soho’s Box Bar to celebrate a female friend’s birthday. He had (quite) a few drinks and saw a burlesque show, then left with his armed protection officers. One clubber said: 'Harry was with girls and fellas, having plenty of laughs. He was more than a little the worse for wear by the end of the night.'"

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I Might Have To Get AWESOME Tonight

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One of Those Mornings/Afternoons

Oy - did anyone get a look at the bus boat that knocked me on my ass last night?!? As you might remember, Kailyn and Maddie are here this weekend, and we ended up having a few dozen million cocktails last night (Quelle surprise!). We got so DRONK that we never ended up leaving my apartment and going to The Urges!!

You KNOW it was messy if we were too drunk to manhandle gogoboys support the arts.

Now it's time for Hangover Brunch ...

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Sleeping With The Fishes ??

Jeebus knows - I have been dronk in my day ... but I ain't never been that dronk.

Come to think of it ... sharks ARE kinda hot ... but those TEETH (could be a deal breaker). Hey - don't judge - at this point I'll take what I can get.

Someone get me a drink! And directions to the aquarium!! ...

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Hooked On Drunken Phonics

Try this tonight after you're all DRONKED up.

Thanks Kayce!

Video Footage of Me from Last Night ...

Yum yum.

Join Me Tonight For Drunk Tweeting!

My BFF (Bacardi Limon) - and I will be drunk tweeting Top Chef: Just Desserts (AKA "Dust Desserts") tonight at 10:00 pm EST. We had a lovely time last week - although I felt it the next morning. BTW - the picture (above) is EXACTLY how I look while drunk on the computer. Forealz.

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER and watch your beloved Blogger make a complete ass of himself! We will go until the show ends or I pass out ... whichever comes first.

Light Posting Today ...

Those of you who follow me on Twitter already know that I won't be blogging too much today. Yeah, I'm calling in DRUNK ... and you can blame this handsome fellow ...

Oy ... I need some Advil ...

I Love Martha Stewart - Post #3985

Martha Stewart claims her typo-laden tweets from a cocktail event at the New York Botanical Gardens were NOT a result of her beloved vodka, but if history is any indication - she was probably loaded. As she should be ...

Via Huffington Post.

Martha Stewart Getting Drunk In Brooklyn

Many of you know how much I love Martha Stewart - but this video somehow made me love her even more. Watch her get sloshed (Martha LOVES a good cocktail) in Brooklyn with her two new Gays. My favorite part is when the bartender disses her beloved Vodka ...

Light Posting Over the Next 24 Hours ...

... for obvious reasons.

Don't Drink and Tweet

Comedian/writer/actor Louis CK got wasted during a recent flight and Tweeted about the unspeakable things he wants to do to Sarah Palin.  You betcha!

Drinking and Tweeting don't mix - just trust me on this one.

Hat tip to Kayce.

Happy Monday!

The subway was a lot less crowded than usual today - I guess a lot of people are taking vacation during this last week before Labor Day.  Folks need to wear their summer white outfits one more time before putting them away for the fall/winter...

I don't have much on the agenda this week, but on Friday night I'll be headed to the Urge Lounge (AKA "The Urges" - below) for a belated birfday celebration....

If anyone would like to see their favorite Blogger (that would be ME, right???) in a state of utter stupidity while he drunkenly molests the "talent", then head over to The Urges at about 11:30 pm this Friday night...

FINAL NOTE: I swear to JEEBUS, Hurricane Earl better not even THINK about screwing up my weekend...

Shawty Got Low Low Low Low Low Low Low

Gawker published these pictures of Katie Couric celebrating her first broadcast as CBS News anchor back in 2006. Looks like Couric drank up the entire bar and proceeded to get up on the good foot.


Diva!

Pictures From Last Night

My camera is still in the gal's hotel room - but Zombie Mom (above) posted some pictures from last night's cocktail party. Go HERE to check them out.

I'm too hungover to tell you who everyone is... but if you're a long-time reader, you'll recognize many of the party-goers. We had a wonderful time.

After the party, Mistress Maddie, Boy Ginger, Howard and myself went to Urge (a stripper bar), and fondled some bar-dancing Papis. Good times.

"Pick Up Your Sweatpants!"

Oscar was a little upset about how unproductive I was over the weekend - but of course he didn't offer to help. I was supposed to get my dumpy apartment ready for Drunken Dust Bunny guests, but I only put a small dent in the dirt.

I am working at my day job today and tomorrow - and I'll be cleaning, doing laundry, and getting ready for the weekend when I'm not working. So posting will be light until Friday - and there will be no posts on Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Because I will be too drunk to find my computer.