Recaps Will Be Returning!

It's been ages since I put on my Snark Hat (made from discarded Mood fabric and old Cheftestant knives) and did some recapping. So I've decided to give The Fashion Show - Ultimate Collection a shot. Here is a preview of the show (thanks to our friends at Blogging Bravo) - which premieres on Tuesday, November 9th...

 

The usual recapping rules apply: I reserve the right to shut down the recapping machine for any or all of the following reasons:

• The Fashion NO is as horrible as it was last season.
• Isaac Mizrahi pisses me off.
• Kelly Rowland has Iman assassinated so she can return as Co-host.

Actually, the real reason I might not make it to the end will be Top Chef All Stars (which premieres at the beginning of December ... ???). One of the toughest things about recapping (in general) is figuring out all the different "characters" during the first few episodes. For Top Chef All Stars, we know these biatches all too well ...

And if you think I'm missing the opportunity to talk smack about Dale and Spike again (and drool over Big Daddy Tre), then you obviously don't know me very well.

Hootie - Hoo!!!

The Fashion NO Returns

Bravo has decided to give The Fashion Show (which is referred to around here as "The Fashion NO") another try after a HORRIBLE Season One. Thankfully, they've gotten rid of one of the big negatives from last time, Kelly Rowland, and replaced her with none other than the legendary Iman!

I think this is a brilliant move, even though there is something absolutely terrifying about Iman. She is other-worldly beautiful, and yet looks as if she could reduce Naomi Campbell to tears with nothing but an eye flick. Miss Bitchypants Isaac Mizrahi better mind his P's and Q's, lest he find himself at the bottom of the Hudson River - his hands and feet bound with Christian Dior haute couture gowns.

Actually, Isaac DOES look askeered standing next to Iman. BE AFRAID Isaac ... be VERY afraid ...

More information on The Fashion NO - Season 2 HERE.

Caption This...

Reminder: The Fashion Show finale airs tomorrow (Thursday) night on Bravo. In the meantime, please caption this picture of Fern Mallis taken at a fashion event.

Last Night On The Fashion NO

Did anyone watch The Fashion Show last night on Bravo? Bottom line - the four remaining designers (Anna, Daniella, James-Paul, and Reco) showed their collections, and the judges sent one designer home.

And the person they sent home?.... RECO!?! The one designer who consistently showed his talents throughout the season was sent home. I realize his final collection left a little to be desired, but were the judges concerned that America might vote for him because he kicked ass all season?!?

Whatever, that show was a train wreck from start to finish. I'm ready for Project Runway.

The Fashion NO

Did anyone else watch The Fashion Show last night? Is it just me, or does Isaac get douchier each week? And I'm sorry, but Johnnie (AKA "Mexican Jay") should have gone home simply for wearing that horrible "Flashdance on a Budget" outfit. Gross.

I watched TFS and Live Twatted about it on Twatter - which was fun. Maybe I'll do that again next week.


So ... what did YOU Beeyotches think?...

Now THIS is a RUNWAY SHOW...

Speaking of the runway, I think I might watch The Fashion NO tonight while talking shit about it on Twatter. I think that's officially called "Live Twatting". Won't you twat with me?

The Fashion NO - Damned Dirty Size-Ists!

I’ll admit – I watched The Fashion NO last night. What a friggin’ horror show. It’s like watching all the kids you hated in High School – and you can’t decide which one you want to die first.

The entire show is simply a competition between Reco and Daniella - the only ones with any talent. Of the two, I MUCH prefer Reco, especially for this statement regarding Keith’s unfortunate outfit:

“I love ya to deff, but I’ll holla atcha at da reunion show”. Classic.

Reco was right – Keith went home for not being able to give curves to the skinniest bitch there. But honestly, at least five of those dumbasses could have been sent home. I just look at that dreck that walks down that runway and think that Tim Gunn must be drinking Chardonnay and laughing hysterically in front of his TV every Thursday night. These Fashion NO Ho's just can’t MAKE IT WORK!

Making me gag the hardest last night was how horribly STANK these bitches were toward “Real Women”. Good Lord, James-Paul was obviously “Schkeeving” (using a Real Housewives from NJ term) the thought of actually having to touch a woman larger than a size 2. Seriously, someone should have flashed him the Vajayjay, and his asymmetrical head would have exploded. Another competitor bites the dust!

I LOVED it when Isaac called Daniella “Size-ist” – totally true. She was bitching and moaning like she was dressing Jennifer Holliday in Dreamgirls. Calm down Stankella!!

And then there’s Mexican Jay (AKA Johnny) … “I’ve never dressed a real woman before”. Who have you dressed? Trannies?? Giraffes?? WTF?!?

Dear Bravo: I'd like to have that hour of my life back, please. I'll holla atcha a da Reunion Show...