Spotted In My Neighborhood

According to Model Mayhem, Brock Yurich now lives in Astoria - I can confirm this because he passed me on my block just a little while ago. BTW - he was wearing a sleeveless t-shirt and looked delicious.

My neighborhood is becoming chock-full of models - and I like it!

So Cheap!

I'm not sure in which aisle, but apparently THIS is what they're selling at my neighborhood grocery store.

{{Suddenly finds a five-dollar bill in my pocket}} ... Gotta run!

.

There Goes The Neighborhood!

I noticed a couple of Rainbow Flags attached to this realty company's awning in my neighborhood yesterday. Apparently they want TEH GAYS to live in Astoria!!

This ALWAYS happens to me. When I moved to Hell's Kitchen in the early 90's, the only gay things in the neighborhood were me and the one-and-only gay bar down the block (I was gayer, btw). A few years later and now you can't swing a feather boa on 9th Avenue without hitting at least a dozen Queens (or gay bars, for that matter).

They're following me ... I'm telling ya.

Rainbow Over Queens

Yesterday I got caught in one of those sudden summer thunderstorms while doing some shopping in the neighborhood. It was during this time that I realized an advantage of living in an "outer borough" of NYC: When it rains, you can keep dry under the elevated subway tracks! But as soon as the rain ended and I started to stepping, this beautiful rainbow appeared and my gay ass couldn't help but smile.

Spotted!

Three days ago I featured THIS model (above), and mentioned that he lived in my neighborhood and that I'd keep an eye out for him. Three days later?? JACKPOT:

Am I good, or what?!?

.

Apparently, This Is A Real Thing

And it's held every year in my neighborhood. Oy.


.

Featured Model - Omarius

Elsewhere on the internet I read that model Omarius, 22, is a half-Egyptian half-German former Marine - but this is unconfirmed. What IS confirmed is the fact that Omarius lives in Astoria, Queens - which also happens to be the neighborhood where a certain Blogger resides. Said Blogger will be keeping his eyes peeled for possible Omarius sightings from now on ...

Model Mayhem Profile

.

Picture Of The Day

Astoria, Queens - 7:15 pm

THIS is the sight I encountered after exiting the subway station in my neighborhood this evening. Miss Thang was FUSSIN' at her good natured man, but Señor Delicioso here didn't seem to mind one bit. Papi just kept on smiling.

Can you believe anyone would give that gorgeous man a HARD time muchos problemas?? Ungrateful beeyotch needs to go home and thank Jeebus for what she's got ...

.

Watch Your Back When I'm Around

Yesterday, while running some errands in my neighborhood, I couldn't help but do some PAPIveillance. Unfortunately I couldn't get any shots of their gorgeous faces - just their gorgeous posteriors.

First was the Brazilian guy at the Check Cashing place (top, and below). And YES, I'm ghetto and forced to use the Check Cashing place because of my epically bad financial history. Anywhore - this guy was SOOOOO cute, and had the most adorable accent:

After leaving Mr. Brazil, I spotted two gay Papis (they seemed like a couple) on the street - who were both tall, dark and extremely handsome. And as you can see, the one on the right had a body that wouldn't quit. You should have seen my fat ass trying to keep up with them while snapping undercover cell phone pics. It was all kinds of COVERT and shizz...

Gotta run - the CIA is on the phone. They want me to teach a training class this summer...

.

Scenes From My Neighborhood

Click To Embiggen

If anyone thinks there are no crazy Teatards living in New York City, think again. This sign is posted on a shuttered business at the end of my block, and the person who put it there is CLEARLY a God-loving, marriage equality-hating, tax cuts for the rich-giving AMURKAN. Unlike the rest of us "GIVE ME - GIVE ME - GIVE ME" LIBERL'S.

Actually, the situation behind this sign is a little bizarre. I asked my barber - who knows everything that goes on in my neighborhood - and he says this windows and awnings business has been closed (and the building for sale) for years now. And yet if you look inside, it seems as nothing changed - there are desks and papers and sample books ... and LOTS of American flags.

Furthermore - this is NOT the same misspelled sign that was hanging when I moved in a year ago. So one of the guy's heirs must be carrying on his father's tradition of being an illiterate douchenozzle. Daddy would be so proud.

I wonder if that's one of the reasons he can't sell it?...

New Yorkers To Census Bureau: WTF???

For a larger PDF version, click HERE

The 2010 Census figures for NYC were released last week, and there's something rotten in the state of Denmark ... or at least in the offices of the Census.

The Census Bureau says that NYC grew by only 166,855 people (or 2.1 percent) since 2000, to a total of 8,175,133. Really?? So just who are all these people crowded butts-to-balls on the subway with me during rush hour ... tourists???

And when you break the numbers down by borough and by neighborhood, it gets curiouser and curiouser...

Here is a personal example: I live in Astoria - a vibrant neighborhood in Northwestern Queens. According to the Census, the borough of Queens (with a population of over 2.2 million) grew by only 1,300 people between 2000 and 2010!! Let's put that into perspective: Radio City Music Hall holds 6,000 people. So the Census Bureau is saying that the entire 110 square-mile borough of Queens grew by the same amount of people that can fit onto one of Radio City's balconies (below). Ridiculous.

Furthermore, the official data says that my particular neighborhood - Astoria - experienced a LOSS of more than 10% its residents. Also ridiculous. On my block - ONE BLOCK - a new apartment building (The "Astoriana") opened last year, and there are two more in various states of completion. All three were built upon empty lots - these are NEW apartments (not renovations) - and this same thing is happening on many of the underdeveloped lots in the neighborhood.

If there's one thing that NYC real estate investors are NOT, it's "reckless". So if there were a ton of vacant apartments already on the market (which is what happens when people leave), they wouldn't be building three new buildings ON ONE BLOCK. These Queens real estate people aren't the huge real estate moguls that you see in Manhattan - they are (in many cases) local investors who know the various neighborhoods and respond when they see an opportunity. A neighborhood which is LOSING  residents wouldn't be experiencing this kind of construction because no one would invest in what is essentially a "dying" neighborhood. It's as simple as that.

The "Astoriana" - One of the new buildings on my block

Not surprisingly - the politicians have been freaking out at the potential loss of federal revenue and House seats. Mayor Bloomberg announced this week that the city will formally contest the count and Senator Schumer has been burning up the airwaves with cries of "INVESTIGATION!". And rightly so.

The question remains: What happened?? One explanation is that some of the neighborhoods which saw declines (including mine) have large Hispanic populations. Could it be that all the Conservative yelping about "illegals" over the last few years convinced Hispanic residents to avoid Census Takers? You never know.

Maybe I should bring this information to my landlord and tell him to LOWER my rent. After all, people are leaving the neighborhood in droves (according to the Census), so he should be happy just to have renters. I wonder what his answer will be?...

Does anyone know any Greek curse words - I should probably learn a few, because his response would certainly be chock-full of them.

.

Going To "Hollywood" For Clean Laundry

Yesterday it couldn't be put off any longer - I was forced to go to the laundromat and wash clothes. I could no longer afford to purchase clean undergarments, and my "previously worn" work clothes were becoming "obviously worn and not washed" clothes. So I piled up all my crap into my Queens Housewife Laundry Cart (see below) and went around the corner to the laundromat.

Well, lo and behold, they spruced up the joint since the last time I was there. They even changed the name to the "Hollywood Laundromat". Their new motto: "We have a DRYER sense of humor". Oy.

Apparently this "dry" humor translates into a Hollywood Walk Of Fame (WASH of Fame??). Each machine has a clever (???) laundry-related name - Soaprah Winfrey, Kate Rinslett, David Washitoff, etc.

But my favorite was George Cleany ... [[insert "George took care of my LOAD like a pro" pun here]].

Happy Monday!

Oy - THIS mess again. I took the picture above on my balcony before I left for work this morning (yes - I'm working today - ugh). And the picture below was the view from my bedroom window.

Is it Spring yet??? Happy Monday!!

The Windy City ?

On Friday the temperature got into the mid-sixties and it was gorgeous. Twenty four hours later it was in the 30's with wind gusts over 50 MPH. I snapped a picture of this awning, which was "relocated" by the wind, on my way to the subway yesterday.

.

Scenes From My Neighborhood: Joy In 'Little Egypt'

Shortly after moving to Astoria, my BFF and I did a little exploring of the neighborhood. During our travels one evening we came across a stretch of Steinway Street (one of Astoria's main shopping drags) that seemed to be almost in a different country. The street was lined with hookah lounges, Middle Eastern grocery stores and a ton of restaurants serving Kofta, Kebab, Baba Ghannoug, Tehina and Shawerma. Gentlemen sat on chairs along the sidewalk (with some sitting on their Off-Duty taxicabs) chatting and laughing with each other - while gorgeous twenty-somethings sipped cocktails in open-fronted bars. The neighborhood had a REALLY cool vibe, and the BFF and I vowed to return sometime for dinner (which we have yet to do).

It was only yesterday I found out that this particular stretch of Steinway Street is known as "Little Egypt" - and is home to a large number of Egyptian expatriates. Naturally, the people of Little Egypt have been following the events in their homeland closely - glued to TV's and radios in their homes and in neighborhood cafes.

And then it happened. Yesterday, shortly after Egyptian President Hosni Mubarek stepped down, Little Egypt erupted in joy - and the celebrations lasted well into the night.

Tales From Astoria: Body Found In Snow-Covered Car

The body of a 31-year-old man was found in his snow/ice-covered BMW yesterday - just a few blocks away from my apartment. Police are still investigating.

Unfortunately this comes as little or no surprise for anyone who has seen the huge piles of snow that line the streets of NYC. There are still many parked cars that were never dug out after all the storms - so goodness knows what else we'll find when it all melts.

Story HERE.

.