I Am DOOMED - UPDATED

If you read my Top Chef Masters RECAP, you might remember that I treated "Magician and Mentalist" Max Maven (below) with my typical snark. Specifically, I MAY have mentioned something about him "slithering" and that his parents might have been "Mr. Spock and Ming the Merciless"...

Well Dust Bunnies, it's been nice knowing you - but Mr. Maven sent me an email ... and I don't know what to make of it:

Dear David Dust:

Thanks for realizing that I'm creepy. It's nice to know that I've achieved my goal, albeit somewhat perplexing as to why you seem to think that's a bad thing.

Cordially,

Max Maven

Is he pissed?!? Is he going to stuff me in a box and then skewer me with swords?!? Is he going to make me disappear?!? I'm frightened, people!!

Here was my afraid-for-my-life-so-I-better-be-nice response:

Dear Mr. Maven -

Please do not take what I've written literally. One of the more popular things I do on my blog is write humorous (??) recaps of reality shows such as Project Runway and Top Chef. It has been my experience that the more "colorful" you are, the easier it is to give you the snark treatment.

And you Sir, are extremely colorful. I actually enjoyed watching you on the show - it has been my favorite Top Chef Masters episode so far.

Regards,

David

P.S. - Please do not turn me into a toad. kthxbai

It's been nice knowing you ... but I don't think Toads can blog...


UPDATE: As you can probably tell from the tone of his email, Max Maven wasn't upset by my comments. I know this, because he sent me a follow-up email ... which I have forwarded to my clergyman and attorney. You know, just in case I'm found sawed in half ... ;)

Please visit Max Maven's website HERE.