"No matter what we go through, the good, the bad, the ugly, when we walk outside we get recognized and judged. I’m not going to put on a front like I’m okay. My heart hurts.
Do I think Dezmon loves me? Yes! Do I think what he did was wrong? Absolutely. Are we done…forever? Honestly, I don’t know. Readers can say I’m dumb if I go back, but with relationships come mistakes. I was lied to and lesson learned…I entertained it on Twitter. I let the drama get to me despite being told to ignore it. That was my immaturity in this experience coming out. I admit that. Yes, I’m embarrassed, humiliated and broken. But I’m strong. Regardless of what happens I will be okay. Do I love him? Yes. Is that enough to stay? At this point, no. I entertained the mother of his son because I trusted what I was told and I stood by him as I should have. Was I the fool? Yep! Do some find it funny that I have egg on my face? Sadly yes, but that means they are lacking happiness and love in their own lives hence them basking in another person’s hurt. Ignorance is bliss but it’s also dangerous.
As far as the logistics go…”At the end of the day” (Jen voice) he will not be with her. So the rant she went on and my responses change nothing for her life. Not only do I look like a fool in love, but she looks like a bitter, jealous and angry “Baby Momma.” That’s worse. Fact is, they were never an item. They were never a couple. But for just under a year, she has been angry that he has been with me. Her twitter name was @dezbriscoejrmom…That was her identity. If you go thru her page (she obviously wanted followers and a platform, so I’m giving it to her) you will see how angry she was that we were together. She spoke about the cruise we went on, him saying he loved me, wanted to marry me, etc. If she didn’t care, why talk about it? If you didn’t watch the show, why do you know every minute of our scenes as if you were commentating? I’m sure she wonders why she was never “the one” to marry but just “the one” to do before he met me. I can’t imagine what Dezmon is feeling right now because, again, I was with my son’s father for four years despite the drama we are going through. So I can’t imagine having a child by someone who never claimed me or never had me front and center at some point. My son puts a smile on my face everyday so no matter what happens I know as long as I’m a good mother that in itself completes me when he wipes my tears, I clean his boo boos, and I get that hug and kiss."
ROYCE then goes on to write an open letter to his baby mama
"Christina,
Do you feel better about yourself? Denying a man his child through texts (why didn’t you post those?) because he is with someone else. Stating in direct message he will never see his son, or that I will never meet him, that you’re going to file for custody when you’ve had several court order that had to be given to you for you to “let” him see his child never looks good to a judge. Trust me! When you have proof on your side you have nothing to worry about. That’s why I can be worry free. You on the other hand, shouldn’t be. The position you just put yourself in, I hurt for you as a mother because you have pretty much signed away your son. I dread that court date for you. I tried to speak to you respectfully on DM and you just “didn’t get it.” I tried to HELP you. But your jealousy got the best of you. Now you’re asking for an apology? For what? For ruining a relationship you were jealous of because he didn’t want you? You still lost. I feel sorry for you."
