Children's Literature FAILs

Kids These Days ...

... have no respect for the Law.


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Look At David's Doodle

Finish David's Doodle. But please take your time and do it right - David ain't going anywhere.

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Something Wicked This Way Comes

Here comes Peter Cottontail ...

Hoppin' down the bunny trail ...

Hippity Hoppity ...

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!

Source: Sketchy Bunnies (thanks to all who sent me the link to this awesome site)

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Evil Red Sox Dad

From The Daily What:

Bad Dad of the Day: The Yankees-supporting four-year-old son of a Red Sox fan learns a harsh life lesson: Baseball is thicker than blood.

Poor kid - all he wants to do is root for "Da Ankies".

Apologies to BosGuy and WickedGayBlog  :)

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If Spider-Man Had Kids ...

My favorite part is when the Dad has to remind his son how old he is. Superhero children don't have to be good with numbers, FYI:

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Advice for Mubarak

8-year-old Saudi girl Juju (below) is full of the WIN. First, she's cute as a button. Second, she is smarter and more articulate than some people three times her age. Third, her name is "Juju" (duh). And, last, she gives out free advice to Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak - love the "BTW" at the end:

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What the ... ??????

If you think child pageant star Little Eden performing her "rap" song Cutie Patootie is frightening:

Then check out Miss Thang after she's been slowed down by 50%:

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Oh Here Go Hell Come

Which is worse - dressing up your kids like the Jersey Shore cast (above)? - or forcing them to endure hot wax before a child beauty pageant (below)? You decide.

 

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NORAD Tracking Santa LIVE

The North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) is tracking Santa's midnight journey for the 55th year - check out the chubby guy's progress HERE. NORAD, however, refuses to discuss their top secret methods for tracking Santa's trip - but they do note that Santa will not visit kids in Canada or the U.S. until all children are asleep.

Facebook page HERE.

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Books For Christmas - What the Heck is THAT ?!?

This kid is right - Christmas isn't about books! At all!! Christmas is all about plastic crap from China!! Besides, didn't his parents ever hear of the Internet - who reads BOOKS anymore?? Stand firm, little man - 'POO' on books for Christmas!!!

Coincidentally, this was the exact same reaction I had when Santa didn't bring me the Welcome Back Kotter dolls I requested back in the 1970's. Santa must have figured out all the unseemly things I was planning for the "Juan Epstein" doll...

Robert Hegyes- "Juan Epstein", Welcome Back Kotter

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"That's So Gay"

From the LGBT Laughs tumblr ...

“That’s SO gay!”

The use of this phrase is absolutely one of my biggest pet peeves. Whenever I hear anyone say it, I always make it a point to let them know that gay is not a synonym for stupid. My daughter has heard me do this and she had never really asked about it before, but we have previously talked about how any two people who love each other can marry each other. 

Today I was picking up my daughter from school (she’s 5 years old.) We were walking to my car and passed a group of boys waiting for their parents (probably between 9 and 10 years old). They were talking pretty loudly and one of them says, “Dude, that’s so gay!”

I immediately got angry. I was about to say something when the most amazing thing happened. My daughter stops walking, turns around, faces them and says:

“You don’t say that word, my Mommy said that’s not nice to say!”

I was speechless. I started tearing up. The boys were shocked and apologized. 

There are moments of pride in a parent’s life when their child takes their first step, says their first word, or begins their first day of school. 

This moment was one of the most, if not the most proud I have been of my child. 

The kids are all right ...

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Work It, Daphne!

Here is a great story about an extremely loving and understanding Mom - and her 5-year old son. Said son is a huge Scooby Doo fan, and decided that he wanted to be Daphne for Halloween. His mother got him the costume and took him to his church pre-school - and here's what happened:

Two mothers went wide-eyed and made faces as if they smelled decomp. And I realize that my son is seeing the same thing I am. So I say, “Doesn’t he look great?” And Mom A says in disgust, “Did he ask to be that?!” I say that he sure did as Halloween is the time of year that you can be whatever it is that you want to be. They continue with their nosy, probing questions as to how that was an option and didn’t I try to talk him out of it. Mom B mostly just stood there in shock and dismay.

And then Mom C approaches. She had been in the main room, saw us walk in, and followed us down the hall to let me know her thoughts. And they were that I should never have ‘allowed’ this and thank God it wasn’t next year when he was in Kindergarten since I would have had to put my foot down and ‘forbidden’ it. To which I calmly replied that I would do no such thing and couldn’t imagine what she was talking about. She continued on and on about how mean children could be and how he would be ridiculed.

My response to that: The only people that seem to have a problem with it is their mothers.

This incredible mom adds:

And my little man worked that costume like no other. He rocked that wig, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Read the entire story HERE. This woman should be named Mother of the Year, and her son should be named The Next Drag Superstar - Preschool Division.

Hat tip: Towleroad

"The Mosquito"

I read about this over at Joe.My.God on Friday - interesting stuff.  From Wikipedia:

The Mosquito or Mosquito alarm is an electronic device, used for solving loitering problems, which emits a sound with a high frequency. The sound can typically only be heard by people below 25 years of age, as the ability to hear high frequencies deteriorates in humans with age (a phenomenon known as presbycusis). The device is marketed as a safety and security tool for preventing youths from congregating in specific areas.

Some adolescents have found the once annoying sound can be used as a tool, and turned it into a mobile phone ringtone. This prevents disciplinary actions that may be imposed by teachers hearing their phone ring during class.

See/hear for yourself ...

"You're a Single Lady, Buddy!"

OMG - watch this video the whole way through to get a look at the "horrible father".  HELLO!!!

I could see myself having the same reaction ... but only if my parents told me I couldn't be Jaime Sommers (The Bionic Woman) - I had to be that stinky old Steve Austin (The Six Million Dollar Man).  

Waaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!


h/t to Joe.My.God

Calen For Congress

I know many of you saw this video yesterday, but I think it should be posted on EVERY blog - gay, straight or whatever.  I love how young Calen is able to think through the information presented to him ("husband and husband") and come to the natural conclusion - THEY LOVE EACH OTHER.  That's all.

If a child can understand this so easily, why can't the Wingnuts?

Vive La Différence!

This kid knows ... being different is FIERCE.