Homeland Security has raised the "Drunken Terrorist Threat Level" to RED/SEVERE for California's Wine Country. This is due to a visit by drunk bitches Maddie, the Boy Toy, and Kailyn this afternoon. And GET THIS - KAILYN is driving!! For any of you who attended Drunken Dust Bunny Weekend, you know just how scary that is.
So, if you are in or around California Wine Country - TAKE COVER! Be on the lookout for disheveled bitches with red wine stains on their faces and clothing. THEY ARE DRUNK AND DANGEROUS!!
I imagine their visit will end up exactly like Patsy and Edina's visit to French wine country in Absolutely Fabulous...
UPDATE: I just heard from them a little while ago - they are still alive and (relatively) sober... for now. They also sent me this picture...
Maddie, Kailyn, and the Boy Toy