Paul Lynde, the Big Queen in the center square on Hollywood Squares, used to say some pretty outrageous things - especially considering the time period (70's/early 80s). As a kid, I thought Lynde was hysterical, even if I didn't understand all the gay jokes at the time. Here are some of his campiest quips...
Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness.
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.
Q. You're the world's most popular fruit. What are you?
A. Paul Lynde: Humble.
Q. How many men on a hockey team
A. Paul Lynde: About half.
Q. What is said to be wasted on the young?
A. Paul Lynde: A whipping.
