The "Oh Honey, NO" of the Day

THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is why you should never get near the phone (or the computer) when you're wasted:

Wow. Just WOW.

First of all, these are exactly the same kind of messages I leave on Franky G's voicemail every Friday/Saturday night (although my messages are sadder and more desperate) - so I really shouldn't make fun.

Oy - the dude says he is "crazy busy" the next day and that he had to leave (presumably the bar/club) "urgently" due too "indigestion". But wait, SHE GETS INDIGESTION TOO!! This must be true love!

Finally - does she work at Ebay or Jamba Juice? Or both??

Source
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My New Prized Possession

A fortune-telling Arby's Oven Mitt toy!!! Isn't he adorable?!?

Up until a couple weeks ago, I had never purchased anything on Ebay. My philosophy, especially since I moved to Queens almost a year ago, has been "I do not need any more junk". Besides, my mother does enough buying on Ebay for the both of us.

However, while searching for a picture of the Arby's Oven Mitt mascot for a blog post, I came across this little plastic toy. It was being offered on Ebay for a whopping 99 cents (plus $1.95 shipping and handling) - so I bid on it and got it for the 99 cent asking price!!

It is just the cutest thing. You ask a question, press down on the little guy's "thumb", and a wheel inside of him spins. When you release the thumb, the "answer" to your question appears in his "mouth". It's exactly like those Magic 8 Balls from back in the day...

Apparently the little guy is part of a set of 4 Arby's toys from 2003 - which are currently being offered on Ebay (check them out HERE). But I've resisted - after all, I DO NOT NEED MORE JUNK. Even roast beef-related junk from my favorite dining establishment.

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Pat Robertson Voodoo Doll

What a great idea!  Someone has made a Pat Robertson voodoo doll and is auctioning it off on Ebay.  All proceeds will go to Haitian earthquake relief.

Finally! What you've all been asking for! A one of a kind, handmade PAT ROBERTSON VOODOO DOLL.

After an exclusive deal with devil, we are finally able to bring black magic into your very own home! The lucky winner of this auction will attain the soul of Televangelist PAT ROBERTSON in a handheld figurine comprised of the finest straw, cloth, and other organic natural materials!

Ever wanted to cause Pat Robertson a massive headache? give him back pain? jab him in the crotch? Of course you have! Well then BID NOW to own your very own physical representation of the dark, dark soul of Pat Robertson.

Accessories included with the doll are Pat's very own "HOLY" BIBLE and BAG OF MONEY taken from real Americans! WOW!

Go HERE if you'd like to bid yourself.  But you MUST promise if you bid highest and get the doll, the first thing you'll do is sew Robertson's mouth shut.

Hat tip to Americablog.

Bastille Day Giveaway!!!

Bastille Day is the French national holiday which commemorates the "storming of the Bastille" - the day when the oppressed French people rose up and captured the Bastille fortress/prison from the King's forces. This became a symbol of the French Revolution which is celebrated on July 14th every year in France and worldwide.

My Aunt Diane is a collector/seller of French Revolution stuff - and since Tuesday is Bastille Day, she has agreed to provide some prizes for a Bastille Day giveaway. In the picture above you will see (clockwise from left): Bastille Day key chain with mirrored back, "Victors of the Bastille" button, Storming the Bastille button, and Smiley wearing a Liberty Cap button. In order to enter the giveaway, simply comment on this post. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS IN YOUR COMMENT for your chance to win these adorable prizes. This is simply so I can notify you if you win.

Aunt Diane (and my cousin Cristina) are also great artists themselves. They have a whole array of hand-crafted jewelry - including cute sterling guillotine earrings and necklaces. Check out their Ebay store by clicking on the picture below.

Diane and Cristina also collect/sell POSTCARDS, PAPER-CUTTING ART, FABRICS and many other interesting items through their Ebay business. Please CHECK IT OUT.

And DON'T FORGET TO ENTER THE GIVEAWAY by leaving your email address in the comments section. I will announce the winner on Bastille Day - Tuesday, July 14th.

Would You Like A Button?

I have Peace, Bitch! buttons left over from Drunken Dust Bunny Weekend - and I'm giving them away to any good Dust Bunny who may want one.

Send me an email: daviddust@gmail.com. You must provide your name and mailing address - and I will send them out on a first come, first served basis. Or until I run out of money for stamps...

Thanks again to my "Aunt Diane" for making these fabulous buttons. Speaking of fabulous, check out Diane's Ebay store HERE for everything from antique postcards to handmade French Revolution-themed jewelry(!). After all, Bastille Day is fast approaching and what better way to celebrate than with guillotine earrings!!

>P, B!