How To Fight The Funk

I’ve been in a real funk these last couple of weeks – so bad that my Psychiatrist recently upped my crazy meds. That seemed to help a little, but what REALLY worked was my old standby cure: good conversation, cheap booze, onion rings and “modern dancers”. 

Let me explain. My blogger buddy Ivan and I have been trying to get together for months. So when we decided to meet up this week, I suggested we go to Boots and Saddle – a Christopher Street dive bar that I’d never actually been inside of. Turns out, neither had Ivan, so we decided to make it an adventure. And if the bar turned out to be scary we didn’t have to stay. 

So last night I met Ivan on the street and we went inside Boots and Saddle (above). We had a seat and were immediately greeted by a friendly bartender so we ordered a couple of beers (Pabst is $3.00, which is a damn bargain in Manhattan). Out of the corner of my eye I notice semi-clothed movement, and lo and behold they had a “dancer” during Happy Hour – a dancer that I’ve featured on the blog before, Francisco. He was all muscles and smiles, so he managed to wrangle a couple of dollars out of my cold, bare, dusty wallet (it was soooooo worth it – for each dollar tip you can totally cop a feel). Ivan snapped a picture of Francisco on stage… 

Needless to say, we totally fell in love with Boots and Saddle and stayed for a number of beers. At 8:00 pm Francisco was finished dancing, and “Marco” took his place (not as cute, but let’s just say he made up for in other BIG ways). At that point we were hungry, so we decided to hit up Julius (NYC’s oldest gay bar) for a burger and a beer. I’d been to Julius before, but I’d never ordered one of their legendary burgers – and I’m so glad I did. It was perfectly cooked and served with my all-time favorite food – beer-battered onion rings. Heaven. 

After eating, Ivan and I went our separate ways – but we’ve vowed to make this somewhat of a Thursday habit. 

And THAT, my dear DustBunnies, is how you fight the funk.

Blue Monday

Actually, the real "Blue Monday" (the most depressing day of the year) isn't for two weeks. But today certainly felt like it to me.

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Current Mood: Melancholy

I have been in a constant funk lately - it feels like I'm treading water but no matter what I do my head keeps dipping deeper and deeper below the water line.  And unfortunately the hunky Lifeguard has gone home for the day.

So, as I've done since High School, I turn to Culture Club for a little comfort...

And YES - I've been taking my crazy pills.

Curly Fry H8ters Spreading Lies

According to something called the "Agence France Presse" - a "news" organization from a country called "France" - a diet heavy in processed and fatty foods increases the risk of depression. I found this on a fringe website called "Yahoo News".

However, according to the "David Dust Bureau of Truth and Deliciousness", a diet heavy in processed Roast Beef and Curly Fries is the key to success and happiness forever and ever. Amen.


Oh my goodness, this story makes me so very sad, I need to go cry for a few hours...

Monday Weigh-In: True Confessions

Things aren't going great for me right now. There are money issues (again), I've stopped watching what I eat, and I've only walked home once or twice in the past month. As a result, I've gained back the weight I lost after I went to see the doctor last month. And speaking of my doctor, I blew off my follow-up appointment and haven't rescheduled.

I feel like a huge loser right now. In fact, I hope my "Anonymous" hater leaves me another nasty comment about how fat and disgusting I am - maybe it would motivate me to do something.

"Me" Update and Monday Weigh-In

On Thursday, July 30th I did a blog post entitled “My Big Ball of Crazy”. In that post I talked about my feelings of utter hopelessness and despair and my non-existent self-esteem. Because of these feelings, I had spent the prior few months hiding in my apartment – eating and being miserable. And it had taken its toll.

Many of you left encouraging comments on that post – and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your kind words. And when my mother (who is celebrating her birthday today) read it, she insisted – for the jillionth time – that I was suffering from depression and needed to get help. Depression runs in my family – Mom suffers from it, as does my Grandmother. And apparently the big D had been passed down to create a third generation of Crazy Bitches .... me.

So, for once, I listened to my mother. After not entering a Doctor’s office in seven years, I made an appointment. And this past Wednesday (August 5th) I visited Dr. A, who gave me a prescription for Pristiq – an antidepressant which, he said, would not add to my weight gain or have any “sexual side effects”. That last part made me LOL, because I’m pretty sure you need to actually have sex in order suffer from sexual side effects. But I’m thankful for Dr. A’s optimism regarding my sex life.


Anywhore, I just want to let you all know that I feel FANFUCKINGTASTIC! As much as I wanted to wallow in hopelessness and say that NOTHING could help me, I really feel like the Pristiq is working. I realize that I’m not going to feel FANFUCKINGTASTIC every day, but I’m certainly going to enjoy it when I do.


At first I thought maybe I was just imagining these good feelings – especially since everyone says it can take a couple of weeks for antidepressants to work. But then on Saturday I cleaned my bathroom. I know that doesn’t sound like a big deal, but I had spent the last 15 Saturdays (at least) sitting on my couch. Seriously, Saturday was the day I “caught up on my blogging” (which is how I justified it). I didn’t leave the apartment and I didn’t accomplish anything. Hell, I didn’t even shower!!

So this Saturday, before I really knew what was going on, I found myself cleaning the bathroom. And going to the Veggie Market. And EXERCISING. And going to the Grocery Store and buying low-fat stuff. It was amazing.


I am one of those “Things To Do List” people. When I’m completing items on my Things To Do List, I feel great. The more things I do, the better I feel. And this weekend, I pretty much did every damn thing I needed to do. And I realized that I hadn’t even bothered to MAKE a Things To Do List in months – because I wouldn’t have done any of it anyway.



Weigh-In

Because of my Pristiq-induced positive outlook, I’m going to go back to “weighing in” on Mondays. And in the past 2 weeks (which was the last time I entered my weight on weightwatchers.com) I’ve lost 3 pounds. I have to lose 21 more pounds to reach my goal weight. And yes, this is the same goal weight I’ve been trying to reach for 1 ½ years.

As far as losing weight goes, I have decided that my target will be to lose 2 lbs. a week. I have lost (and gained) enough weight over the years to know that this is achievable for me. And even if I cheat a little, I should still be able to lose 2 lbs each week – which will definitely add up over time.

BTW, you may remember that I told my Doctor that I was concerned about the cost of my medication. He, in turn, gave me 10 weeks of Pristiq samples for free. But I’ll tell you this right now: I don’t care how much it costs – I’m going to make sure I get my Pristiq. If I have to beg, borrow or steal, I’m gonna get my drugs. Hell, I’d sell my ass on the street for it. After all, there are “no sexual side effects”…

I Survived The Doctor

As I've said many time - I avoid Doctors at all costs. But recently my Big Ball of Crazy seemed to be getting even bigger - so I knew it was time to make an appointment.

My Doctor (and everybody in the Doctor's office) couldn't have been nicer. I explained to them that I was a PSYCHO BIATCH FROM HELL when it came to visiting Doctors and Dentists. Dr. A. responded: "Dentists? Well that's understandable...".


I explained what's been going on, and Dr. A said that I definitely showed signs of depression, and he prescribed me an anti-depressant. He mentioned that this particular antidepressant wouldn't make me gain weight (thank Jeebus). He also took some blood (I squirmed like a total wuss, natch) and they gave me another appointment to come back in 3 weeks - which I'll do.


One of the concerns I had was of the cost of the drug he prescribed. Well, it turned out they had a display of samples at the front desk (10 weeks worth) - and they gave me the entire display for FREE. Free Drugs = Good!

We will see in the next couple of weeks if I respond to the medication or not. But I must say, I was proud of myself for actually showing up for the appointment. This was definitely a step in the right direction.