I volunteer to be the designated drinker...
Source
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Friday, July 1, 2011
The Day Anderson Cooper Prevented Me From Eating Fried Chicken - But Almost Gave Me A Heart Attack Anyway
Earlier in the week I had a Close Encounter of the Gay Kind- I passed Anderson Cooper on the street near my job.
It was lunchtime and my evil "FUCKIT!" switch had gone off – telling my brain that we were HONGRAY for Fried Chicken. The nearby Gourmet Garage (it’s like a condensed version of Whole Foods) always has some pretty good chicken at their deli counter, so off I went to satisfy my craving.
But immediately after crossing the street I noticed a silver-haired hottay coming right at me. It didn’t take long to realize that this was uber-Journamalist, A-Gay, and Vanderbilt Jeans heiress Anderson Cooper.
But DAMN – that Queen moves fast! I hesitated for a second, but then thought it would be a hoot to get a picture for my DustBunnies (talk about journamalism!). So I went on the chase…
I had no idea that the descendants of Commodore Vanderbilt were frickin’ built for speed. ACoop was moving faster than me at an all-you-can-eat Arby’s Buffet or Charlie Sheen on his way out the door of Rehab. Darlings, he was putting FloJo to shame on the streets of NYC. Needless to say, I never caught up to him – and was only able to snap this very blurry picture (top) while on the move.
My moment with Anderson Cooper, however, DID make me forget about Fried Chicken AND it prompted me to get a little exercise. So there’s that.
But next time, dear Andy, cut a fat girl a break and slow down a little. No need to kill a biatch...
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To My Canadian DustBunnies
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| Blatantly stolen from A Queens Queen |
A great fat man once said:
"All Americans love Canadians. What's not to love?? Canada is like that polite, successful, smart relative that - try as you might - you just can't hate because she's so damn nice and cute and treats you so well. AND she's got your back if shizz gets serious and you gotta fight. Canada is Melanie Hamilton to America's Scarlett O'Hara - and always will be."
Happy Canada Day, dear Mrs. Wilkes.
UPDATE: I just realized that today is Olivia de Havilland 95th birthday!!! Happy birfday, Miss Mellie.
Yesterday I Had A ...
... Good Day!!
It wasn't a great day, mind you, but I did some good things yesterday:
- I walked 1.5 miles after work.
- Went to the grocery store and stocked up on fruit. One of my lame-ass excuses for making poor food choices is "There's nothing to eat in the house". This, somehow, then justifies ordering (and eating) an entire pizza or $25 of Chinese food.
- I did a tiny bit of cleaning/organizing in the kitchen. I'm a Virgo, and organization makes me feel better about things in general - although you'd never know it if you saw my trainwreck of a room. Wait a second ... my disgusting room may be the cause of my disgusting waist size!?!?! That sounds like a Good Morning America segment just waiting to happen...
- I drank more water (and less diet soda) than usual.
Furthermore, my doctor called regarding my bloodwork from last week. He said that my cholesterol and blood sugar levels are fine, my CD4/tcells keep increasing, my viral load is still undetectable and my liver numbers - although still high - held steady. All in all a pretty damn good report.
BTW - I must be the fattest biatch on the planet with absolutely normal cholesterol, blood pressure and blood sugar. Which could ALSO be a Good Morning America segment. Dear GMA producers: my booking fee (in the form of an Arby's gift card) is quite reasonable - CALL ME.
On the down side, I consumed way more calories yesterday than I should have. And I'm still terrified of getting onto the scale. But all things considered it was still a GOOD day.
How was YOUR day yesterday??
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